CURRENTLY LISTENING: YEAH RIGHT BY JOJI. 

Vulnerability isn’t attractive; it’s terrifying. There’s a popular belief that being vulnerable is both beautiful and courageous. However, this is not the case. I don’t feel brave in the least. I’m afraid and worried, like all the air in my lungs has been sucked out, and I can’t remember the last time I was able to breathe. Nobody wants to be vulnerable since it implies being afraid and anxious and unable to breathe. That’s how i feel, at least. I’d rather keep my guard up and not feel as if my heart is about to burst out of my chest or as if my brain is about to explode from the million thoughts rushing about inside it every two seconds.

Vulnerability can be attractive in some situations, but not all of the time. It’s lovely to be sitting across from someone having a heart-to-heart at 2 a.m., where the things you say don’t seem all that real since the sensation will pass in the morning, so it’s a safe space. Being vulnerable all the time as you open up to someone and let them into your life isn’t all that; it’s frightening, and it makes me want to run away and hide, which I can’t because then I wouldn’t be exposed, and that would be a problem. I’d be a problem.

Do you think you can help me out? No. I can’t even figure out how to solve myself, so don’t expect you to. Also, don’t ask me what I’d like. I’m unsure. That is also a question for which I have no answer. It is your responsibility to carry out this task. I’m not sure what I want, but I expect you to know because that’s your job, and it irritates me when you don’t. It makes me wonder why you don’t know, even though I couldn’t tell you when you asked me. But isn’t that your job? I refuse to accept responsibility. I’m not sure if it’s because of my feelings or because of myself. I can pretend it isn’t there, that it doesn’t exist if I don’t take responsibility. Because it isn’t my concern, I don’t have to think about it because I don’t want to. You simply refused to listen, or perhaps you didn’t take me seriously because it was a strange thing to say. In any case, it’s still your fault because I warned you about this and you chose to do it anyway. You decided to work with me on this. I’ll be present, but I won’t be present. I’ll exist alongside you, and if you find me difficult, that’s your problem to solve. I refuse to because I am unwilling to deal with it, with myself. I don’t exist unless I deal with myself. I’m not required to do or be anything. I’m just here. That seems to be all I ever say to people. I’m just here.
I’m not making any promises or serving any purpose; I’m just here.
You can do whatever you want with that. I don’t want it to be my issue any longer.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE VULNERABLE?
WHAT DOES BEING VULNERABLE LOOK & FEEL LIKE TO YOU?
DO YOU VIEW VULNERABILITY AS A STRENGTH OR WEAKNESS? WHY?

PS: I NEED ANSWERS.

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14 Comments

  1. Cheesohm July 28, 2021 at 8:13 pm

    My advice- never show your vulnerability!

    Reply
    1. admin July 28, 2021 at 8:42 pm

      thank you 🙏🏾.

      Reply
    2. Akindimeji July 28, 2021 at 9:56 pm

      Someone once said “to share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable and to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength”. I’m still trying to comprehend but maybe your strength lies in your vulnerability.

      I love this write up 🥺❤️

      Reply
      1. admin July 28, 2021 at 10:01 pm

        yes, it does. thank you, Dimeji 💜

        Reply
  2. Morana July 28, 2021 at 8:28 pm

    so i want to make a reference.
    in attack of titan anime, they built walls around their city, shielding it from the titans, so they don’t attack the villagers and when the villagers finally got attacked, they turned to the survey corps for help and protection as they became weak. that’s how i see life as, in terms of emotions.
    sometimes we build walls around ourselves and push people away because we just want our space or something, we mask our emotions and tell everyone “I’m fine🙂” but one day, the wall comes crumbling down bit by bit and we feel helpless. and just like the AOT villagers, we want someone, we want to feel protected. so we basically break down and seek help. we open our hearts to someone and just spill.
    so vulnerability is a weakness shown due to being strong for so long.

    thank you for coming to my ted talk

    Reply
    1. admin July 28, 2021 at 8:41 pm

      I totally understand this breakdown omg. thank you Morana 😭🙏🏾

      Reply
  3. Michael Favour Chijoke July 28, 2021 at 8:32 pm

    Being vulnerable is when all my favourite songs talk about you. When my heart beats faster when I see your name pop up in texts or messages.
    It’s wanting you around so bad It’s scares because well, Everyone leaves.
    And I know this, but still want you lol.
    Being vulnerable is letting you see me in my happiest form. The lost moments of my childhood. It’s you seeing me in my rawest form. Bare, needy, kinda dumb lol. The imperfect side no one ever sees.
    That’s Being vulnerable for me.

    Reply
    1. admin July 28, 2021 at 8:44 pm

      yes, and it hurts when someone sees all that and still breaks you.

      Reply
  4. Lami_dhe July 28, 2021 at 9:25 pm

    Being vulnerable isn’t good or bad, it just you know so sad cause shine who will make you feel useless doesn’t deserve the vulnerable side of you. Don’t give all to much tho

    Reply
    1. admin July 28, 2021 at 10:02 pm

      giving too much when you don’t receive the same thing. i hope we all get the strength.

      Reply
  5. IFÈMMA July 28, 2021 at 10:10 pm

    being vulnerable simply means being human and that’s ok.

    Reply
    1. admin July 29, 2021 at 1:15 am

      yeah, thank you 🙏🏾.

      Reply
  6. Abuchi July 29, 2021 at 8:31 am

    Vulnerability is not a all too good thing..
    It just only be used when negotiating..
    But the word “vulnerability” have been bullied into showing of weakness unnecessary.. the truth of matter is that showing your vices doesn’t do any good..

    Again vulnerability is best used when negotiating

    Reply
    1. admin July 29, 2021 at 9:36 pm

      it’s literally a sign of weakness because people legit get to ride you when you show how vulnerable you are to them.

      Reply

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