Heyyyyy guys, happy Sunday! I hope y’all went to worship God today? It’s day three of the challenge guys and I am so happy I’m keeping up. Today’s challenge topic is on gender roles.
Many believe that a person’s gender is based on their sex, but I believe gender is actually reinforced by specific factors in that person’s life as they grow up. Sex is biological but gender is cultural. It is the socially constructed roles, behaviours, feelings and attitudes expected of the sexes in a particular society. Gender roles are indirectly or directly taught and not inherent. And it varies with society because it is cultural. Sex is natural and fairly constant. It doesn’t change, but gender changes. Gender is the right, power and privilege bestowed or denied as well as the confinements and taboos charged on any sex.
With the way things are going on, it is very important that the things we learnt about gender roles have to be unlearnt. I mean, a whole lot of things! It is very necessary to cancel the subscription of what women should be or shouldn’t be. And the same goes with the men. We should have evolved more than that.
The first place to start is from the beginning. And for a start, we have to do away with those ‘talks’. Those talks that we give to girls about poise, domestication and economic management and to boys about career, success and independence. Let us stop asking girls this question ‘is this how you will behave in your husband’s house?’ whenever she misbehaves. What if we have a society where boys aspire to marriage like the girls? What if women stop limiting themselves with the thought that they cannot really do much in life because marriage will take it all away from them? Let me tell you what will happen: women will stop seeing each other as competitors and stop spending their lives seeing marriage as the end. And men will start taking care of themselves more knowing that there is nobody to wait on them and clean after them. Cases like the guy who left dirty plates and soaked clothes for three days, expecting the lady he just met and invited to his house to wash will not happen.
These gender roles corner that we have boxed ourselves into is the main problem. We teach girls to be prim and proper; to have manners; to be neat and clean; to be able to cook, manage house chores, raising kids and also a low-profile career (don’t aspire too much, it would bruise a man’s ego). And yet we raise boys to be tough (be a man; a man does not cry), be stern, be a high flyer and be rich by whatever means possible. Somewhere along the line when these two people meet and get married, the woman is expected to bow down and worship the very ground the man is walking on; and the man is required to walk all over her. After all, ‘she has done what she is supposed to do at the right time and she married well and has made the family proud. She has been trained well and she has a job; even if it is a low paying job. She does not really need the job anyways. Her job is her kitchen, and her purpose in life is to take care of her husband and children. Her husband will cater for her, and he is allowed to walk all over her because he is her lord and master. She is indeed a blessed woman’. Loooooooool!
Let me tell you the truth today, boys should also be taught the importance of being prim and proper; having manners and being neat and clean. Boys should be taught how to cook, manage a home, and raising kids. I always say that the only chore that is exclusive to a woman is breastfeeding. Let us teach our boys not to feel emasculated if they are seen doing chores that ‘belong’ to girls. (I think at this point in this post, we have agreed that there is no particular chore that belongs to girls or boys). As we teach boys, let us teach girls to be high flyers; to aspire to be great in their career; to grab opportunities and be unapologetic about it. It is okay if a girl is not interested in cooking but interested in electrical appliances. She should not be forced to cook. If a boy is interested in cooking instead of electric appliances, it should not be seen as weird.
And for the love of God, let us stop telling girls to be ashamed of their hormones, their bodies and their curves. We should teach girls to be sexually liberated and be free of shame. Gone are the days when a girl alone is slut-shamed for a sexual act that was performed by two people. In the same vein, boys should start taking responsibility for their promiscuity. Boys should be taught that infidelity and criminal sexual behaviours are not normal and should NOT be celebrated.
Long and short, let us not teach ‘boys and girls’, rather, let us teach our children collectively to be well behaved human beings.
What is your view?
Do you think gender roles should be restructured?
Thank you for reading.