My Fears.

Hello guyyyys, how’s your week going? Welcome to my blog. If you’re new to my blog, you can read my blog posts here.

My week was going well until today. You won’t believe what happened to me today guys 😭😭😭. I was called on to answer a question in front of a class, I mean in front of over 100 students. something I’ve never done in my entire life. I felt like the ground should open up and swallow me. I mean I was shaking. I almost teared up because I couldn’t say anything, I just had my head down. I felt sad and embarrassed, because the lecturer kept pushing me to talk and I still couldn’t, not because I didn’t know the answer, but because I was scared. He eventually asked me to go back to my seat after five minutes.

I’m scared of staying in a place full of people, especially those that I’m not really fond of. Whenever I’m in one, I just curl up in my own space, block my ears or read a book. My mum has talked to me a lot about this, but I still can’t help it, she always thinks I’m not smart because of the way I relate with people outside our home and it hurts, because I am.

So, it turns out I am pretty anxious.

People need to understand that people scared of public spaces don’t necessarily have to be shy when with their friends. After what happened to me today, people were telling me that they were surprised to see that I could not talk to them in class, because they’ve seen the way I relate with my friends, I mean the people I’ve known for over 2 to 3 years. You don’t expect me to be shy around them. And don’t think this is a choice, because it isn’t. I’ve tried and tried to fight it, but it still bothers me.

This is the reason why I turn down meeting up with people I barely know or someone I’m meeting for the first time. I always give silly excuses to cover up. I can go a day talking to you online, but meeting you will just bore you. It’ll just be like a question and answer meeting because I will probably not say anything and we’ll just keep looking at each other.

I also have this constant fear of failure and I am convinced that at some point the rug of all my achievements is going to be pulled out from under me and my whole life will collapse. The fear of not being where I want to be in life. It scares me to death.

WHAT ARE YOUR FEARS?

WHAT ARE YOUR EXPERIENCES SO FAR?

IS THERE SOMETHING THAT COULD BE DONE ABOUT IT?

Don’t forget to comment and share.

Thank you.

0
(Visited 7 times, 1 visits today)
What do you think of this post?
+1
0
+1
0
+1
0
+1
0
+1
0
+1
0
+1
0

5 Comments

  1. Debby September 11, 2019 at 6:39 pm

    Awwwn..this is so real i can imagine😫🧡🧡

    Reply
  2. Melo September 11, 2019 at 7:37 pm

    Could really relate on the fear of failing as a person. It’s scary Af but one can’t do more than his best, now can he?

    Reply
    1. Mo's blog September 11, 2019 at 7:46 pm

      Yes dear, one can’t do too much. We should just keep pushing to be better. I think that does it.

      Reply
  3. ChristInSarah-pearl September 12, 2019 at 7:49 am

    I like the fact that you came here to say it as it’s doing you, not covering anything. Shyness is something many people can relate with. Don’t worry you’d overcome it with the holy spirit

    Reply
  4. bubblebathselfempowerment September 30, 2019 at 10:55 am

    I am the same way. I don’t do well in crowds, especially if some of the crowd are ones I don’t know well. I do much better one on one with people I know and trust. I think it’s ok and to accept that about ourselves, rather than try to change it because others don’t understand it. We’re all different personalities – some introverted, some extroverted. I could never get up and speak in front of over a hundred people and would never have the desire to do so. If a time came that I wanted or needed to, I’d work on it, but for now I accept that about myself.

    Reply

Leave A Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *