Hi guys, how’s your January going? I can’t avoid the fact that this month is moving so slow. I mean, it’s just 11th for Christ’s sake. I guess we just have to live with this because we still have 77 days to go till this month ends.
Currently listening to prayed up by Summer Walker.
Maintaining any kind of relationship is a cooperative effort. Both people ought to be upholding their end of the deal. That deal? Clear, concise, and meaningful communication without deception. “Without deception,” that’s very important. It goes without saying that you shouldn’t lie to your friends and loved ones, but that’s not the deception I’m talking about. Deception, when it comes to maintaining a relationship, more often manifests as misdirection, hollow language, and unclear intentions – and generally, the type of person to be deceptive in a relationship of any sort is also likely to “ghost” someone.
I came across a twitter thread on my friend’s WhatsApp status about communication and ghosting. I couldn’t agree less with that thread. I took to my WhatsApp status to seek people’s opinions on ghosting. My question was, “do you think ghosting is necessary or it reeks of immaturity?” I’m going to share their answers with you as I proceed.
“Ghosting” a term coined by millennials, my generation. This generation that has been shoved into the realm of social media. In my opinion, I feel ghosting depends on the circumstances or scenario. Ghosting means ceasing all sorts of communication and contact with a partner, friend, or similar individual with none apparent warning or justification and afterwards ignoring any tries to reach out or communicate made by that partner, friend or individual.
However, ghosting on somebody you’ve got a relationship with, either a close friendship or a committed relationship with is simply an act of cowardliness. It’s terribly wrong and unkind of you.
Ghosting is stemmed from the thought that avoiding feeling, avoiding having to discuss what we are feeling and generally something that ends up in closure and healing was too uncomfortable to process when you can choose not feel the least bit. This avoiding to close situations has generally created a negative loop cycle as a result of not getting a feedback response which means there’s no growth. So, we always have a tendency to unceasingly undergo constant lessons while not learning something and marvel why nothing changes.
People ghost from others for various reasons and sometimes, it’s not even regarding the victim. It may be a breakup strategy, an avoidant personality trait, mental breakdown, depression, a non-committal character, a continual lineage issue to abandon others or get rejected and sometimes, trust issues. I can even understand those having a mental breakdown or depression not wanting to say a thing. The most annoying part is, they end up not showing any signs of empathy or remorse for their ghosting behavior and sometimes show up after weeks, months or years, acting like nothing happened or expecting to start out from wherever they left off as if life is a pause and play game. They forget that yeah, ghosting may have been a simple answer to avoid all the drama, questioning, feelings and all, however they’re gradually burning bridges for the future.
Ghosting is especially a cruel thing to do to a person with whom you’ve got a relationship. Whether romantic or platonic, the other person deserves to understand what’s going on. Perhaps the ghoster is avoiding confrontation, and I get that, but closure for everyone is much better than cowardly comfort for yourself. I could see the opposite argument being that no one owes you anything, explanation or otherwise. And that’s true, but as far as decency goes, being clear and up front with people goes a long way. It’s easy to ghost someone, yes, but you have to know that relationships aren’t easy. They don’t end because you’re done talking.
Ghosting is something that can be avoided. It’s easier said than done, and this was never meant to be easy. You will have to use words to explain and make sense of what’s happening and if we can’t explain it to ourselves how can we explain it to others? Help is available and you can learn how to express yourself, after all the goal is to be able to communicate and for that communication to help breed better future interactions.
Have I ghosted? Yes. Most times, it was because I was trying to avoid relationship conversations.
Have I been Ghosted? Yes. A lot.
Here are few of the responses I got.
WHAT ARE YOUR OPINIONS ON GHOSTING?
HAVE YOU GHOSTED ON ANYONE BEFORE?
HAVE YOU BEEN GHOSTED ON? HOW DID YOU FEEL ABOUT IT?
PLEASE FILL THE COMMENT SECTION WITH YOUR STORIES
CIAO ADIOS 🤞🏾❤️