Happy new month guys!!! Welcome to the season of love. I was planning to post this earlier, but books and movies got me hooked up. Within last week, I read a sequel (if tomorrow comes and chasing tomorrow by Sidney Sheldon), you guys should really check it out. It’s worth your time. I also watched the first season of Jane the Virgin. Some of you might probably think I am wasting my time watching it, but it’s actually funny and interesting. I love Jane’s character lol….
So yeah, I’m going to be talking about challenging your inner critic.
What do I mean by inner critic?
It can also be called a “critical inner voice”. It is a sub personality that judges and demeans a person. It sabotages us, our successes or our relationships, preventing us from living our lives.
We all have an inner voice that expresses criticism, frustration or disapproval about our actions. These comments (from both others and ourselves) internalize and become our “inner critic,” the persistent negative self-talk that keeps us stuck.
This inner critic self-talk tend to fall into one of two categories, “bad self” and “weakness”. Bad self is shame-based. Those who struggle with it might feel unlovable, flawed, undesirable, inferior, inadequate or incompetent. The weak self is based on fear and anxiety, when you’re unable to support yourself or unable to express your emotions. Those in these categories will agree with me that it’s actually depressing.
I was more of the bad self category. Most times, I get the feeling of not being good enough. I asked myself so many questions like, who am I? What’s my purpose on this earth? Am I really living or just existing? What’s my worth? I get to questioned myself every time, because I always feel I’m not doing enough to make me stand out. Not until I was forced to talk to someone. He explained everything I needed to know and pushed me out there to do whatever I want without thinking of what others will think of me.
We can choose to let self-hatred breed and grow in silence or can notice it and challenge it. But let me tell you something, we need to move to self compassion and take on the difficult task of tackling it. This will not be easy (it wasn’t easy for me), it’s like forcing a runway train to change direction. Reflecting my own experience of trying to turn the train around, I found out that I was falling into old habits, drifting towards the familiar path of self hate, but now I understand it is imperative that I stay the course and continue my efforts to change. If I don’t, I will be consumed by my self-destructive inner dialogue.
So why not spend time focusing on the positive? Try your best to meet with love and compassion instead of hating yourself for not being important. What would happen if you commit yourself daily with nothing but self love, self praise, self compassion and gratitude? How you experience, your world would change? Your words are very powerful and so are your choices. Do the right thing by choosing self-kindness. After all
What do you do to keep these voices out of your head?
Do you think talking to someone helps?
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